Wasted Time
by Bendyfish
Summary: Ianto decides to move on. Jack realises that he loves Ianto, but is it too late?


**Wasted time**

**Author:** Bendyfish

**Warning:** nah that would give it away.

**Summary:** Ianto decides to move on. Jack realises a bit late that he loves Ianto, but is it too late?

**Set:** anytime in the first season well after Lisa is discovered. All the team are here.

**Disclaimer:** The characters are all owed by R. and the Torchwood enterprise, I am only borrowing them for my little fics. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Rating:** T

**A/N:** This little fic was running around my head for some time, I finally found some time in my crazy busy life to finally put it down.

**Wasted time**

"I'm moving on, it's time" Ianto said calmly.

"Moving? Huh? Where?" Jack asked puzzled.

"Moving _on_, moving on from whatever this is between us" Ianto waving his hand between them.

"Oh" Jack said quietly.

Ianto walked away without a second thought "I'll see you at work tomorrow"

The next morning Ianto reported to work as per usual in his usual immaculate suit and promptness, coffee at the ready.

Jack waited; he knew that Ianto would come back for more, more of Jack, who could resist.

A week passed, Ianto was his usual professional self, no one could fault him, in anything, he, in deed had moved on, no falter in anything business related, he was still the ever efficient general duties person at work, although the little sporadic spark of laughter or smirk had gone. Jack on the other hand would watch Ianto with more intensity, waiting for Ianto to give a hint of his wanting to resume their sexual trysts after the team left for the day. But each day Ianto would leave with the rest of the team or if the team was out catching aliens Ianto would wait for them to return, coffee at the ready and then leave.

Two and a bit weeks later, Friday night and with the rift quiet, as predicted by the ever efficient Tosh, Jack said that the team could have an early mark and start enjoying the weekend but keep their phones handy. Jack knowing that Ianto would see to the end of the day even though he gave the team an early mark, wandered into the tourist office where he last seen Ianto after he finished his work in the archives. Jack was hoping that he could persuade Ianto in providing relief for the both of them, and besides he missed the way that Ianto could make him feel special and he always made them a coffee afterwards.

Ianto was nowhere to be seen and the tourist office was locked. Strange, Jack thought, Ianto would normally not leave with the others if they got an early mark, he would always remain to the proper finishing time or before he 'moved on' to spend time in private with Jack especially when Jack gave the team early marks, maybe he's in the archives again, Jack thought.

No, he wasn't there, so Jack thought he would check the CCTV of the tourist office to find out if Ianto had left with the others.

Jack brought up the CCTV and watched the others leave via the tourist office waving goodbye to Ianto with Tosh turning to Ianto and saying "Ianto? Do you want to grab a drink at the pub before you head home?"

"Hey that sounds like a great idea" Ianto said enthusiastically, "I could do with a drink"

Jack watched gloomily, thinking that he had missed this chance to spend some time with Ianto, the more he thought of it the more he missed Ianto; Ianto , not just the sex.

TWTWTWTW

"I think that guy is checking you out" Tosh said doing the sideways glance to indicate to Ianto which guy.

"What? No! Check me out?" Ianto said incredulously.

"Yeah and why not" Tosh said thumping Ianto on the shoulder playfully, "you're gorgeous"

Ianto rolled his eyes, no one has ever told him that he was gorgeous and he didn't see himself that way, oh there was Lisa, but they were in love, of course she thought he was handsome, as she called him, her handsome and gentle man who would always treat her like a lady.

"I'm not looking for anyone" Ianto said sadly.

Tosh looked at him sadly, "Still hurting?"

"No, not really, it's just that I'm really angry with myself"

"Why, whatever for?"

"I don't know…..wanting something more, something more solid"

"Like what?"

"Can I be candid with you?" Ianto asked with a slight hesitation.

"Oh Ianto, always" Tosh said softly resting her hand gently on his shoulder, "you are like a brother to me"

"Jack and I, we…..we just…..we just had sex, it was more to me but I don't think I meant anything to Jack, nothing like he meant to me" Ianto said sorrowfully.

"Oh Ianto, I'm sorry, but I think that Jack feels much more for you than that"

"No, he doesn't, his actions tell me something different"

"What I see from Jack, when he doesn't know I'm looking is the way he looks at you" Tosh continued as Ianto started to protest, "and no, it is **not** in lust"

"Well what does it all mean?" Ianto said shaking his head.

"Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you, I don't know…. because he can't die?" Tosh said shrugging her petite shoulders.

"Well that doesn't bother me. Anyway, it's over. I think I need a break from any relationship, well what Jack and I had wasn't really a relationship, I don't really know what we had but I don't need anything or anybody at the moment"

Tosh stared at Ianto sadly.

"Come on, stop with the melancholy. I thought you asked me to have a drink and as I understand it as protocol stands, you asked me so it is you, who should be getting me a drink, so get thee to the bar, woman" Ianto said jokily.

"Yes sir" Tosh said mock saluting him, understanding what Ianto was doing, redirecting the focus from the conversation that they were having.  
When Tosh returned to their table the gorgeous guy that was checking Ianto earlier was sitting there chatting with Ianto from the other side of the table. Setting down the drinks she said, "Am I interrupting?"

"Oh no Tosh, this is Zach, he's new in town and thought he would say hello" Ianto said with a sideway smile and eyes shining towards Tosh to say 'wow this guy is hot'.

"Well hello Zach" Tosh said cordially shaking Zach's hand, "and where are you from?"

The rest of the night was spent laughing, drinking and Ianto getting Zach's name and phone and a promise of getting together for a date the next night. All and all a good night, well for Ianto, although for Tosh seeing Ianto smile made Tosh happy as she hadn't seen Ianto this cheerful for such a long time.

Later that night Jack returned from a forgettable lay with a moderately looking guy. Well compared to Ianto, he was moderately looking, _'hey when did Ianto become the gauge to measure other guys by'_ Jack thought, puzzled by his thoughts. Checking the rift before going down to his bunker for a few hours sleep Jack thought about Ianto wondering why the handsome Welshman was on his thoughts more than he had ever been.

TWTWTWTW

Three weeks later

"There's your lunch guys and the coffee is ready as well" Ianto said to his work colleagues as he handed out their lunch orders.

"Oh and where are you going Ianto?" Gwen inquired.

"Jack has allowed me to have my accumulated lunch leave today" Ianto said happily.

Scowling Owen "Well, aren't we a happy little chappie"

"Yes I am" Ianto said winking at Tosh then promptly walked out of the Hub.

Jack had noticed a difference in Ianto in the past week and when Ianto had asked him if he could take an extended lunch break that morning Jack could not find any reason to deny him as he had all his work up to date, he never asked for time off and the rift was predicted to be quiet. As Ianto stepped out into the Plass Jack watched the CCTV of Ianto's encounter with who he was meeting for his extended lunch break.

Ianto greeted a tall and very attractive man with a kind of familiarity that pointed to something more than friendship. Jack watched Zach greet Ianto with that awkwardness between people who were approaching a sexual stage of their relationship but not there yet. Ianto gently placed his hand on the other man's back, directing him towards the quay. They walked off together, their closeness as they walked suggesting a comfortable companionship as they chatted and laughed.

An uneasy feeling crept into Jack's chest spilling into wretchedness as he realised that he has never seen Ianto so relaxed and comfortable. He should be happy for Ianto, he knew that, so why did he feel so wretched. Was Ianto ever that relaxed and comfortable with him, Jack couldn't think of many occasions when Ianto and him had spent time in such an easy and relaxed time. Oh there were times but they were few and far between. Jack started to think of the times that they spent together, other than being at work, when Ianto joined him down in his bunker. The sex was intense and exciting with Ianto as he was the type of person to always give one hundred precent in all things, sex would not be the exception. Surely Ianto didn't feel more than the sexual relief there was for the both of them. But a doubt seeped in to Jack, Ianto was a dedicated lover, the Lisa incident was evidence of that, could Ianto be having sex with Jack for different reasons that Jack had, even when he was hiding Lisa, at first Jack thought that Ianto was being intimate with Jack as a way of deflection but that type of love making could not be faked.

Jack felt that he could fall for the handsome Welshman but refused to give in to those feelings knowing that he would live on and the ones he loved, always died, always caused too much grief that it was better to just not get too much involved or in too deep with anyone.

As Ianto and the gorgeous man walked out of view of the CCTV camera that Jack is looking at, Jack turned to his computer having taken the image of Zach and began a search of this man.

Jack excused his snooping by justifying that all partners of the Torchwood team are investigated to see if they are a threat to Torchwood or earth. Jack searched intently throughout the night mainly because he couldn't find anything on this man, he had recently moved to Cardiff from Portsmouth, he came from a good family, worked 5 days a week in marketing, currently paying off a mortgage, had two relationships previously, one that was five months and one that was just over a year and no police record of any sort, not even a speeding fine.

Hours later, late into the night, after returning from yet again another forgettable night, this time with a good looking couple who were very willing to share their bed with Jack, Jack's thoughts were of Ianto again. Jack showered and awaited his team to start the next day, wishing that he could be having a coffee and a chat with Ianto at this moment. But then Jack thought, did Ianto ever stay after they had sex to have a chat, oh yes, he would have a coffee after sex with Ianto, but he couldn't remember Ianto being there, why was that, Jack thought again, remembering their encounters.

_Jack passed a wet cloth to Ianto after a very satisfying and enjoyable romp with the gorgeous Welsh man, as he himself got dressed, Ianto having a sleepy look of getting comfortable mainly from exhaustion, Ianto was always a vigorous and energetic lover who was all the more than happy to accommodate any of Jack's wishes, Jack asking Ianto for a cup of his wonderful coffee and "I'm sure you would want to get some clean clothes at home" Jack would say as a way of telling Ianto to not get comfortable in his bed and that he was dismissed. Jack choosing to ignore the look of disappointment on Ianto's face. _

'Oh' Jack thought, realisation becoming very clear to him. What did Ianto think of these times? Probably that he had been used, used as some play thing for Jack. Jack knew that Ianto would do anything he wanted him to do, as anyone would do for those that they loved. Ianto didn't just love Jack as so many did, Ianto was _in_ love with Jack. In that moment Jack knew that Ianto would do anything without question for Jack, anything to get close to Jack in any way. Even have sex with him in the hope of spending time with Jack and probably hoping that Jack would invite him to stay afterwards. Jack never treated him like he was special but that was what Ianto did for Jack. Jack expected him to always be there and to never find someone else, someone who would love him back as he deserved. Jack justified his actions knowing that he would out-live his lovers so he refused to get close to anyone. Better to treat them bad so they would walk away before they aged and Jack didn't.

How foolish was he, Jack thought, realising that he wanted more than sex with Ianto, could it be love that he was feeling, after all these years of having lovers of no real substance, could Ianto be the one, the one that Jack was willing to settle down with, for the short time of Ianto's life time. Could he get Ianto back, was it too late?

TWTWTW

"What do you want me to tell you Jack" Tosh asked not comfortable with Jack asking her what was the relationship that Ianto was in.

"Tell me it's nothing" Jack implored.

"It probably is….but Jack, Ianto was needing to…." Tosh said.

"Needing what?" Jack asked when Tosh didn't continue.

"Needing someone who makes him feel good about himself" Tosh said confidently.

"And I didn't do that?" Jack said not so confidently.

"Jack I'm not comfortable talking about this with you" Tosh pleaded, hoping Jack wouldn't ask her any more questions, not wanting to betray her trust in Ianto, he would not like that she would tell Jack that he was in love with Jack.

"I'm sorry Tosh, but I think…. No, I know that I feel something more for Ianto, I miss him every day" Jack said sadly.

"Well tell him" Tosh said exasperated.

"I'm scared that I would disappoint him" Jack said hoping that Tosh understood what he meant.

"You could never disappoint him" Tosh asked.

"It never works well,…. I live on… and the people that I love die. I have to watch them grow old while I stay the same, it always ends badly" Jack said sadly hating that he had to voice his concerns out loud.

"So, you will sacrifice a possible great relationship with Ianto with the possibility that Ianto will grow old and resent you for staying young?" Tosh said incredulously.

"Yes, sort of" Jack said resignedly.

"Well you don't know Ianto all that well, do you Jack?" Tosh said angrily.

"Huh?"

"Ianto is different, you should know that, he would love you for however long you were together, don't wreck a possible short time of Ianto loving you and hopefully you loving him back because you think that Ianto is shallow, that he would resent you for staying young, don't waste the time that you could have together now"

Tosh's words struck a blow, _don't waste the time that you could have together now_, Jack thought, _I'm a fool how could I be so dumb, I love Ianto, I need to tell him, I need to tell him now_.

Jack smiled and lifting Tosh into a sweeping twirl and setting her down kissing her cheek as he gently held her face in his two large strong hands, "Tosh you are so wise, beyond the maths, and cold hard computer facts, you even see the real things that matter in life, how did I get to be so lucky to have you here, here to tell me what I should have seen myself"

"Well, I like to think I have some purposes" Tosh said laughingly.

"I'm not going to waste a minute, I'm going to tell Ianto now" Jack said his face lit with hope and happiness.

"Well Jack, you best wait till the rest of us leave the Hub" Tosh laughed, knowing that the workplace whilst the team was present was not the best place for these types of declarations.

TWTWTWTWTWTW

Later that afternoon as the team were leaving, Ianto was finishing off the last of the filing left by the others.

"Ianto can I have a word?" Jack asked hesitatively.

"Um…. Sure" Ianto replied puzzled.

"In my office" Jack said firmly.

"Coming" Ianto called out, "let me just finish filing these reports, five minutes tops"

Jack paced while waiting for Ianto, still unsure how he was going to say what was on his mind, how he would broach the subject of….of them.

Bringing in a cup of Jack's industrial strength coffee, Ianto sat down on the other side of Jack's desk, "Yes sir, what is it that I can help you with?" Ianto said cordially.

Jack gulped and took a deep breath, how is it that Ianto couldn't see the effect he had on him, "I didn't expect you to bring me a coffee, that's not why I asked you to come here"

"I wasn't sure, just in case, what was it you wanted to see me about, sir"

"Umm…..about a month ago you said that you were moving on, that you didn't know what this was….what we had" Jack went straight to the point.

Ianto just stared at Jack, wide eyed, in a bit of shock, why was Jack bringing this up, bringing this up now.

"What was it to you?" Jack asked when Ianto said nothing, just staring at him.

Ianto heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head.

"Was it more than sex to you, Ianto?" Jack asked getting up from his chair and walking around to sit beside Ianto.

Ianto clasped his hands in his lap and steadfastly stared at them not wanting to meet Jack's eyes.

"Ianto?" Jack said hesitatively.

"Well, that's what it was to you" Ianto said dejectedly in a quiet voice.

"But it wasn't for you" Jack said, "was it?"

'Does it matter, now?" Ianto said a little more than a whisper.

"Ianto I'm sorry" Jack said apologetically.

Ianto felt anger, unsure why Jack would apologise that he couldn't love Ianto like he loved Jack, "Oh don't apologise Jack, more my fault than yours, I should have known that I was just another notch on your bed"

It was Jack's turn to look shocked and stare wide eyed.

"Look Jack, it's okay, I get it, I shouldn't have expected anything more from you, so it's okay" Ianto said standing up to leave.

"Ianto, no" Jack said his voice catching, grabbing Ianto's arm, "that's not it. I….I want…."

Yanking his arm away from Jack's grip, "Yes Jack, I know what you want, but no I can't do that anymore, I told you I've moved on, I can't do this anymore" Ianto said firmly.

"No Ianto, I mean, I….I want you, everything, all of it, you, me, a couple, together, the whole thing" Jack said in a rush.

Ianto looked quizzically at Jack, and in that sweeping moment could see that Jack was genuine, the wall that he constructed to hold back his true feeling for Jack crumbled. Jack held up a tentative gentle hand to Ianto's face, a motion that Ianto had never felt from Jack, all the other times, it was rushed encounters and hurried touching. Ianto raised his head, his eyes meeting Jack's, believing the older man, believing that Jack could love him but there was still something that Ianto felt was not quite right.

"I've been stupid" Jack voice cracked, "I couldn't see that not having you, all of you, in every part of my life, how unhappy it would make me"

In that moment Ianto realised that what Jack was feeling was the empty space left by Ianto, but was it love, "So it's all about you" Ianto said his voice almost booming, "Why are you doing this to me now? Is it because I don't need you like you obviously need me?"

"No Ianto, no" Jack said desperately trying to communicate to Ianto his feelings were more than lust and sex.

"Look Jack, I loved you, probably still do, but…."

"Let me prove myself to you" Jack said optimistically, his eyes shining with hopeful anticipation.

Ianto's eyes drifted shut for a moment and with a heavy sigh, "I'm seeing someone. I don't know if this is for the long time but he makes me feel that he thinks of me all the time not just in lust"

"Let me make you feel like that, give me a chance….please" Jack pleaded.

"Show me what Jack?" Ianto said shaking his head.

"Let me show you that I'm committed to you for the long time, in every way, I've realised that having you in my life is all that matters" Jack implored.

"Show me what?"

"Let me prove myself to you"

Nodding his head slightly and with a sad smile, knowing that if this was going to work with Jack that he would not just jump when Jack wanted him to, he would take it slow, make Jack take it slow. "Okay, show me, prove it to me but not tonight, I need to think" Ianto replied then moving in the direction of the office door, "I'll see you tomorrow sir" when he reached the office door he turned his head and smiled at Jack, his eyes glistering with hope and sadness that they had wasted time. He wasn't going to make it too easy for Jack though, this time Jack would have to work for Ianto's love and devotion.

Jack's heart soared and he made a promise to himself to not mess this up, he would treat Ianto right, he rushed out the door as Ianto approached the cog door, "Ianto? Date, tomorrow night? Dinner? A movie? You can choose the movie"

Ianto turned to look up at Jack, "Only the movie Jack?"

"You can choose the restaurant too, you like Italian, right?"

"Among other foods" Ianto said smirking thinking that Jack was already making the effort to make things right between them and continued to walk towards the cog door.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes Jack, that's a yes"

"Great, after work, you, me, dinner and a movie" Jack called out joyfully as Ianto exited the cog door. Jack, already was making mental notes on how he was going to show Ianto he was serious about them being a couple, knowing that he needed to make the best of the time that they had together, it could be only a couple of years or if they were lucky a couple of decades. Jack didn't want to waste a moment, he already wasted enough time that he should have had with Ianto. He wasted the past couple of years and especially the last month but no more, he wanted Ianto to know that he would be there for him for however long they could be together, to watch Ianto grow old, to be there for when he was sick, to be there for him having him know that Jack loved him and would be true to him.

Jack went to sleep with wonderful thoughts in his head of wooing Ianto and spending many years together.

TWTWTWTW

The next day was the usual hectic Torchwood kind of day, busy with weevil alerts in different areas, Ianto coordinating the team telling them of new sightings. After the third alert with Gwen and Tosh exhausted Ianto joined Jack and Owen as an extra pair of hands as it appeared to be three weevils in the one area.

As Owen was loading the two caught weevils into the SUV Jack and Ianto were cornering the last one. This weevil was proving to be difficult to corner as he was unusually quick and had some knowledge of the alley ways. With the boys puffing and panting they finally trapped it between them as they entered from either side of the alley way. They looked at each other smiling knowing that they had the weevil surrounded as they advanced on it.

Jack rushed at the weevil backing it up against the brick wall with Ianto close by, his hand moving away from the ear piece finishing up telling Owen to bring more weevil spray and that they had this one in the bag. The weevil looked from one to the other and in desperation pushed violently at Jack quickly, catching Jack unawares, hurtling him against the brick wall, Jack's head smacking against the brickwork, staining it a bright red with Jack's blood as Jack slid to the ground. The force of impact knocking him out cold. At the same time Ianto leapt at the weevil in a vain attempt to stop the weevil harming Jack further, but he is that much slower than this speedy weevil, giving the weevil the opportunity to grab Ianto about the head sinking its teeth into Ianto's throat. Running into the alleyway, weevil spray at the ready Owen sees Jack slumped on the ground and the weevil sink its teeth into Ianto, spurring him to run faster to reach them. With the weevil spray in his outstretched hands Owen is spraying before he even reaches the weevil who throws Ianto to the ground. The weevil spray subdues the weevil enough for Owen to shoot it between the eyes wasting no time in eradicating it.

Owen quickly drops to his knees to inspect the pulsating blood-gushing wound on Ianto's neck that is quickly converting his crisp pale blue shirt a ruby red. With his hand pressed firmly on the wound in a desperate and futile attempt to stem the flow Jack regains consciousness.

Jack reaches up trying to gain a handhold of the brick wall his eyes blurring, head throbbing and with his blood dripping down from the gash from the back of his head, he vaguely makes out that the weevil was down and Owen was bent over Ianto. Jack staggered over to Ianto to see why Owen was tending to him. As his vision clears he can now see the growing pool of blood under Ianto and the pulsating spurts coming from Ianto's neck between Owen's fingers.

Ianto's eyes are closed and he is not responding to Owen's shouts, "Do something Owen" Jack moans painfully to the doctor as he futilely tries to stop the inevitable.

"I am Jack" Owen says through gritted teeth, "unbuckle my kit"

Thankfully the doctor's kit was slung over his shoulder and neck, Jack unbuckles the kit for easier access, "What can I do?" Jack asked not taking his eyes of Ianto's ashen face.

"Keep pressure….here" Owen says indicating Ianto's neck as he reaches for a needle from the kit and plunges it into Ianto's heart, knowing it is a futile exercise, Ianto's heart had stopped a full five minutes ago.

"Owen? The blood has stopped" Jack said hopefully.

"Yeah, I figured" Owen said miserably.

"So he going to pull through" Jack said optimistically.

"Ah Jack…..um ….he's dead…..there's nothing I can do" Owen sighed.

Jack blinked up at Owen, "What!? No!" quickly turning to Ianto, "Ianto wake up, tell Owen you're fine…..Ianto?...Ianto!...IANTO!"

FIN

A/N: Please don't hate me, it's only a fictional story, Ianto lives on forever in my head. My next story will be a happier one, I promise.

"Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the one we love, and a thousand hours thinking of them" Author Unknown.


End file.
